


Dear Arthur,

by Ciah



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-07 16:42:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13438959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ciah/pseuds/Ciah
Summary: A letter from Morven to Arthur before she leaves.  One shot. I tried to answer the age-old question 'Can you give a character closure without having them hallucinate their dead husband?" Yes. Yes, you can.





	Dear Arthur,

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Mention of the shooting

Dear Arthur, A lot has changed. In over a year I guess it was inevitable. Some things have stayed the same as they are destined to, though. Holby has always been full of old dogs and their old tricks. Sacha still has no regard for wearing shirts that preserve eyesight and Ric still has enough ex-wives to occupy a small country. To someone who didn’t know I guess it looks as if it is the exact same as when you were here. It isn’t though, I’m not sure you would even recognise it anymore. It is the small things you would notice.The security checks at the front door and the ID badges that we are all issued with. The new coffee they serve downstairs and the new batches of F1’s you never had the misfortune of meeting. There are a lot of new faces you wouldn’t recognise and a lot of people you would in positions you wouldn’t. Fletch made it all the way to the top and Zosia made it all the way to Yale. There are people on the way up. You’d be so proud of a lot. You'd be confused by a lot more. 

Dom has found himself in a registrar position. He’s found himself, someone, as well. Someone even Zosia seems to approve of. She isn’t quick to approve after all the bad eggs he’s found himself with over the last year, but I suppose she would have told you about that already. I think you’d approve too. He is a nurse and sweet almost as awkward as you. Lofty, he’s called, I’m sure you’d have a lot to say about the origin story of that name. You would push your glasses back up from the tip of your nose and ask why they didn’t just call him by his real name. I would be a lot less confusing that way. He makes Dom smile though, you’d like him for that reason, he hasn’t smiled that much in a long time. He told me that you made him promise to look after me. Considering all his demons he’s done a good job at that. We still toast you together when we can. 

It isn’t all that rosy though. A really bad thing happened here a few weeks ago. It’s why the security go increased so much. I can’t explain it in all that much detail, you didn’t know him. No one expected him to do it but he must have snapped. What made it worse was that he was Hansen's son, Fredrik. Whenever you see him now there is a pain in his eyes. He looks like he has disappointed us like something has broken inside him. I suppose he has lost something, hope. We must try to never lose hope. He hurt a lot of people. He lost everything and that emptiness turned into anger. Anger often causes a lot of pain and most pain I have found need not be caused. Ollie and Jac were both hit and Raf. He was only just married but now his memorial is at the end of the ward. It seems just moments ago that we cleared Jasmine’s and just moments since we cleared yours. It seems like every time we begin to heal we are ripped apart again and have to find ourselves a new way to go on.I’m not sure if I can stand to see another set of flowers and candles erected to remember someone who we shouldn’t have to remember. I don’t know if I can take another ghost. There are so many ghosts here that I need a break from. 

Anyway, Arthur, what I’m trying to say is that I’m moving on. I’m not leaving forever. I never could. Holby will always be a home with its extensive dysfunctional family, and you. I’m off to travel the world for a bit I took up a once in a lifetime offer I’m being brave, something I learnt from you. I’m going with Cam, I told you about him last time. He’s Bernie's son and almost as stubborn as her. I’m not replacing you. I never could and I know you’d understand that. You will always be with me. I’m sure you're looking down at us in the nervous disapproving way that you always do. 

I will write again I'm sure. I've found it is a good way to cope when I no longer think I can. There is always so much I feel like you need to be updated on and you always gave me the best advice. You's toe the line between bravery and caution perfectly. I wonder what I should do with this letter. Dom would say to burn it in the unsentimental way he does, there may be some cathartic char to doing that. Perhaps I should paper plane it out into the world and never see it again. You would have folded it neatly and sealed it in an envelope and pushed to the back of the draw with all the other letters I have written to you, just in case. I think I will put it in my bag some middle ground maybe then I can keep a little bit of you wherever I go. Maybe then a part of you will leave this place with me. Love, Morven x


End file.
